How can I live above average? (1 Chronicles 4:9-10)[1]

When I look back to my early memories of school, one event stands out above the others. Most school memories are of things like my annual reports that said I was not doing as well as expected or needed to try harder or was pretty average at most things. But at age eleven, all that changed forever. In the last week of term, for the first time ever, I came first at something. I won the first race of my life – the 800 yard walking race. Two laps walking fast. And if you don’t know the difference between walking and running, walking becomes running when both feet are off the ground at the same. In the walking race, one foot has to be on the ground at any time.

And I seemed to have the natural skinny hip movement necessary to walk with speed. For the next few days before term ended I bathed in the glory of being a winner. At last I was the best in my year at something and it had been recognised. I have the certificate to prove it. I still remember the adrenaline surge of winning and the feel good factor, at least for a few days. The desire for recognition and affirmation are deep, deep needs. The need is universal. Everyone longs to be recognized for something. Recognition is actually good for our emotional health. When our children were young, they’d say, "Watch me, Daddy, watch me!" They wanted to be recognized. They needed to be affirmed. That need doesn’t change when we grow up. We just get more subtle in fishing for complements.

We do it with our cars, with our clothing and our homes. All the time we're saying, "Watch me, accept me, affirm me, appreciate me.” That’s because we have a deep need to be valued and recognised. A healthy self esteem develops, however, when we find equilibrium between our physical, emotional and spiritual needs. We will ultimately only find security and be at peace with ourselves when we find our security in God and a right relationship with him. Because what he thinks about us is more important than what others think. If we rely solely on other people for our emotional stability, we will never be secure or fulfilled. Instead we will remain immature and self centred.

When we are secure in our relationship with Him, we can grow up healthily into the unique people God intends us to be. We can excel. We can thrive. We will never just be average. Our short Old Testament reading have probably sold more books per verse than any other in history – and also generated a good deal of controversy with it. The first nine chapters of 1 Chronicles consist of genealogies. More than 600 names are mentioned in the genealogy of David. And right in the middle of all these names between Koz the father of Anub and Hazzobebah, and Kelub the father of Mehir, we meet Jabez. He just appears out of nowhere; there is no mention of his father was or who were his children. He's just there.  No praise is given to anyone else in the genealogy; only Jabez is so honoured by God.

God singles out one man for special recognition – a man named Jabez. Only two verses in the entire Bible discuss this man, and yet he is given an honourable mention above 600 other people. Why? Let’s look at the text and find out.

“Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.”  Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.” (1 Chronicles 4:9-10)

 

The life of Jabez holds three simple abiding principles, that when applied, can, by God’s grace, help you excel, as God intends for all his children.
But before we do, I need to give a spiritual health warning.

Much of what has been written about Jebez is actually unhelpful and at times pagan. It follows from a mistranslation of the wording in verse 9 where it says Jabez was "more honourable than his brothers." This is not a good treatment of the Hebrew text. A better translation would be, "Jabez was more honoured than his brothers." God honoured Jabez - by answering his prayer. God didn’t answer his prayer because Jabez was more honourable. See the difference? Some writers have suggested that if you pray this prayer enough times, God will bless you with physical health and material prosperity. And judging by the book sales, millions of people have hoped so. Let me give you an example from Bruce Wilkinson’s book, The Prayer of Jabez:

"I want to teach you how to pray a daring prayer that God always answers. It is brief-- but I believe it contains the key to a life of extraordinary favor with God.... I challenge you to make the Jabez prayer for blessing part of the daily fabric of your life…
1. Pray the Jabez prayer every morning, and keep a record of your daily prayer by marking off a calendar or a chart you make especially for the purpose.
2. Write out the prayer and tape it in your Bible, in your day-timer, on your bathroom mirror, or some other place where you'll be reminded of your new vision.

3. Reread this little book once each week during the next month, asking God to show you important insights you may have missed…
By the end of that time, you'll be noticing significant changes in your life, and the prayer will be on its way to becoming a treasured, lifelong habit… the Jabez prayer distills God's powerful will for your future.."[2]

Millions of people have turned this obscure little prayer into a mantra… and I believe, been led badly astray. Let me explain.

“To me it is a steak dinner with all the trimmings; steak, baked potato, corn and bread. All good nutritional food, the problem is that as a final touch the chef sprinkled just a little rat poison over the plate. Would you still eat it? It is 99% wholesome! If you answer no, then why would you feed your spirit something that was only 99% wholesome or even less than that?”[3]

That’s because prayer based on mindless repetition, which is common in pagan religions is like rat poison. Consider the similarities with claims made in Medicine Buddha Sadhana.

This small book was given to thousands of people who attended an empowerment workshop led by the Dalai Lama in May 2001.

"To recite the Medicine Buddha Mantra brings inconceivable merit. ... If you recite the mantra every day, the buddhas and bodhisattvas will always pay attention to you, and they will guide you. All your negative karmas will be pacified and you will never be born in the three lower realms.... and all your wishes are fulfilled." [4]

Sounds tempting, doesn't it? Who wouldn't want to recite a prayer that promises easy access to higher powers, that will fulfil your dreams and satisfy your desires? 
But God knows that our finite dreams and human wishes fall far short of His wonderful plan for us. His rocky road to blessing includes hardships and humiliations that rarely find a place in our hopes and prayers. Therefore, knowing our wayward hearts, Jesus shows us a different way:

"And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done...." (Matthew 6:7-9)

Jesus is explaining how to pray.

Jesus said, “in this manner, therefore pray”. “Pray in this way because your father already knows what you need.” Jesus didn’t say, “repeat after me… and make sure you get it word for word.”  To turn model prayers into mantras confuses the power of prayer with the power of God. There is a significant difference between the two. But the so called ‘power of prayer’ has always been far more alluring than the surrender and obedience involved in praying the way Jesus taught. Most people would rather memorize and repeat a prayer that "works" than take time to discover and know the heart of God in simple child-like conversation.  

The Bible actually warns us on numerous occasions that God will not always answer the prayer of Jabez.  For example, David tells us that "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear." (Psalm 66:1). Proverbs also warns, "Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be heard." (Proverbs 21:13) James explains another reason for unanswered prayer:


“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God?”
(James 4:3-4).

 

So in prayer, motive is far more important than method. We cannot build a theology of prayer upon one verse. One verse that merely tells us what someone prayed. If Jabez prayer was indeed all that some author’s claim, when Jesus was asked by the disciples how to pray, he would have referred them to the prayer of Jabez. Jesus didn’t. In fact, as we shall see, Christian prayer based on the teaching of the New Testament takes us far beyond the prayer of Jabez.  Now with that word of caution, let’s discover three simple principles we can apply from the example of Jabez. The first principle of living above average is this:

 

1. Develop ambitious God-honouring goals
“Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory!” (1 Chronicles 4:10)

Jabez dreamed of doing something significant with his life. And he sought God’s blessing to achieve it. There is passion in his cry for God’s blessing in his life. He knew that only God could bless his life and he asked for it. So, what are you passionate about? What fires you up? What energises you? What are you asking God for? If you don't have a dream, you're drifting. If you don’t set yourself goals, you will just fulfil other peoples. If you don’t raise your expectations, you will never excel. If you don’t ask, you will not receive. I started training in Karate last term. My aim is not to get a black belt. That is a secondary goal. My aim is to have a long and fruitful ministry. I will better honour God by becoming fitter and healthier.

But at 54, I need a secondary goal like a black belt to help me. Help me achieve my ultimate goal. Jabez prayed “
Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory.” I translate that into a prayer asking the Lord to “increase the number of people who hear about Jesus through the church website… enlarge the circulation of Connection magazine… multiply the opportunities I have to share your love with others. Grow your church Lord and bring your blessing of new life in Christ to more people through us.” That is what keeps me awake at night. Thinking how can we reach more people with the gospel through our buildings, through our services, through our ministries, through our networks, thorough Connection, through the website?

This is a God-honouring way to apply the prayer of Jabez. God never intended for us to go through life with a complacent, satisfied or half-hearted attitude. But neither did God intend us to be tossed about by every new idea or taken in by the latest quick-fix prayer formula. God wants you to develop to your full redemptive potential and there are no substitutes for a personal daily walk with the Lord. Jesus said “I have come that you may have life and have it to the full.” (John 10:10). Another translation says “and have it abundantly”. That is God’s will for you. It is true that Paul said, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." (Philippians 4:11) But this doesn't mean we shouldn't seek for more of God’s blessing. Earlier Paul wrote:

I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me… I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:12-14)

 

So, the first principle to living above average is develop ambitious, God-honouring goals. The second principle is.

2. Nurture a simple Christ-centred faith.
Jabez prayed, “Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” (1 Chronicles 4:10).

Not only did Jabez have great ambition, he also displays a deep trust in God. William Carey put it like this, "Attempt great things for God; expect great things from God."  Jabez knew his hope and security was found in God, not his abilities or possessions. Faith is more important than talent or education. It’s tempting to speculate on why Jabez prays to be kept free from pain. For in naming him Jabez (rather than Jazeb), his mother inverts the word for pain – so his name was a kind of a pun – a play on words. Jabez may have had some type of handicap or disability. How would you like to be named "Painful"? "Here comes Painful," or "There's old Painful over there." Jabez may have caused his mother much pain in child-birth. He may have been unwanted or unloved. Growing up, his name would have been a constant reminder of his past. But Jabez was stronger than this handicap. Regardless of his past he had the faith to look ahead and trust that God would be with him.  Do you feel you have a handicap? Is it physical? Is it spiritual? Is it an unhappy childhood? Is it a frustrating job or problem in marriage? Whatever it may be, remember that we identify with and draw our strength from a Master of whom it was also said,

“He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by others, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain… Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. (Isaiah 53:2-6)

Because Jesus died in our place, because Jesus has reconciled us to the Father, and indwells us by his Spirit, he will never leave us.  Hebrews assures us: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can human beings do to me? (Hebrews 13:5-6).  If you want to live above average, like Jabez, develop ambitious, God-honouring goals and nurture a simple Christ-centred faith.

3. Cultivate Spirit-led prayers
It was Jabez's simple prayer request that got him an honourable mention in the Bible, and we're still talking about him thousands of years later.

His prayer demonstrates three things we can ask God for and expect him to answer:

God’s power.Oh, that you would bless me.” (1 Chronicles 4:10)  Jabez specifically asked for a power greater than his own to accomplish his dreams. He prayed, "I want you to bless me. I want your power in my life." Do you pray about your goals? Do you ask God to help you wherever you're headed in your life? At first glance, Jabez's prayer seems selfish, doesn't it?
He prayed, "God, I want you to do all these things for me." But evidently God approved of the prayer, because he answered it. Consider this: God dares you to ask for big requests. He can sift our motives. But you cannot out-ask God. You cannot out-dream God. If you could stretch your imagination to the greatest limits of what you think could possibly happen, God can go beyond even that. God’s power.

God's presence. "Let your hand be with me" (1 Chronicles 4:10). Jabez realized, "If I do indeed receive more territory that means I'll have more responsibility and I'll need more of God's wisdom and help. So he asked God to be with him. When you ask for God's presence in your life, you can be sure he will answer. God’s power. God’s presence.

God’s protection. "Keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." (1 Chronicles 4:10). Now there is nothing wrong in praying like this. What mother or father, sitting by the bedside
of a sick child has not prayed for the pain to go away, for healing, for a miracle. Pray for forgiveness, for our daily needs, for deliverance from evil, for God’s kingly rule to come on earth and rid us of sickness and suffering and death – praying for these material things is not wrong– these are the very petitions Jesus has taught us to use. God’s power, God’s presence, God’s protection. These are the things Jabez prayed for, “And God granted his request.” (1 Chronicles 4:10).

How about you? Are you tired of drifting through life not knowing where you're going? Do you want to see God work in your life in new ways? Do you want to see more answers to your prayers? If you want to live above average? Then make this Autumn a new beginning. Commit to being a full member of Christ’s Church here in Virginia Water. Make space for a daily quiet time alone with the Lord. Come to every one of our new Autumn Sunday sermons in John’s Gospel and Hebrews. Join one of our mid week small groups for teaching, fellowship and prayer. Sign up for one of our Thursday night training courses. Find a place of service, one hour a week at Christ Church. And give sacrificially to help us fulfil our vision and achieve our goals for the year ahead.  There were two toads.

“One toad prays for a juicy grub; another toad prays for a princess to kiss him back into a king. Although we ought to pray like the second toad, it is not wrong to pray like the first, provided we remember that our deepest wish is not to be fattened but to be transformed. The real breakthrough to a blessed life will come when we look beyond the good things our nature teaches us to like, to the gracious thing our nature teaches us to reject: the cross of Jesus Christ.”[5]

If you want God's best for your life, if you want to live above average, then like Jabez, develop ambitious, God-honouring goals, nurture a growing Christ-centred faith and cultivate spirit-led prayers. Then watch as God delights to answer is children’s prayers.



[1] The title and some of the content of this sermon (and sermon series) is adapted with thanks from Rick Warren’s God’s answers to Life’s Difficult Questions (Zondervan). http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/pdcafe/burningquestions-liveaboutaverage.htm

[2] David Wilkinson, The Prayer of Jabez, Preface and pp. 86-87.

[3] Ralph Dettwiler, Review of the book The Prayer of Jabez, http://www.behindthebadge.net/articles/a69.html

[4] Berit Kjos, Problems with The Prayer of Jabez,  http://www.crossroad.to/index.html

[5] Carol Zaleski, The prayer of Jabez. - Review - book review Christian Century,  May 23, 2001